Thursday, February 18, 2010

I am a Working Mom

Today, I was asked if I wish I could stay at home with Allyson. This question caught me off guard. It really is comparable to asking a Stay-At-Home mom if they wish they worked outside the home.
It's a personal choice.
I Am a Working Mom.
Honestly, I have very little support. Just about all of my close friends with young children have chosen to be stay-at-home moms. All my blogging buddies, friends at church, hmmm...I'm having trouble thinking of ANY of my close friends with young ones that work.
I have worked very hard to be where I am in my career. My choices have come with many sacrifices. How did I get here?
Well, it all began when I was a kid. I knew I'd go to college. I got pregnant very young, but I was adament about finishing college on time.
I had a single mantra to carry me through. "Men die and men leave. I will not depend on a man to support me."
I became a teacher in the Fall of 1999. I received a Master's Degree in 2002. I taught middle school until January 2008. And, I currently have my dream job as a media specialist (school librarian to those of you that didn't realize the title changed. :))
To become a media specialist, I had to get an add-on certification in Instructional Technology/Media and pass the GACE and go to FIVE interviews and get rejected four times. But, I am finally where I want to be in my career.
I'm saying this to remind myself and anyone that thinks bad of "working" moms that we working moms have a lot to offer our children.
Because of my income and career:
  • I can help support my family.
  • I can provide a lifestyle that will provide my child with many experiences that will help her to learn and grow.
  • I can instill an example and a drive for her future goals in her career.
  • Because I went to college she will be twice as likely to attend college herself.
  • I can show her the benefits of working.
  • I can also show her that she will be able to support herself and be independent.

Could I quit my job and stay home? Yes. But, I'm not going to.

Being a working mom is a personal choice. This is a decision that I have made and I feel it is the best decision for my family.

Do I sometimes feel guilty for the time I'm not spending with my child? Yeah, sometimes. But, I make up for it by making the most out of the time we do have together.

How do I feel about letting someone else raise my child? What!? Someone else is not raising my child! She may be at daycare having a story read to her, a meal served to her, or being taught to wash her hands. But, her father and I are raising her.

We are the ones faithfully taking her to Bible class and church. We are the ones instilling values and expectations for her behavior. WE are raising her. The daycare is just that. They are taking CARE of her during the DAY.

So, as you can see I have some pretty strong feelings about my choice. I certainly do not judge anyone for making a choice to stay home. So, likewise, please don't judge those of us who work. We all make choices and decisions that can be hard and have pros and cons either way.

It's simply a personal choice.


Amy said...

Isn't it awful that we feel we have to justify ourselves no matter what choice we make?

Anonymous said...

Dawn said...

I checked out that link and it's a pretty weak argument. I'm ceratinly not going to quit my job based on what some ex-feminist thinks. Interesting, though. Like I said, this is MY choice. Stay-At-Home moms make a choice, too. There is no right or wrong.

Andrea said...

I think that you are doing a great job raising Allyson. I sometimes feel bad that I am not working but I know that I am doing the right thing for my family situation. I think that everyone should do what's right for themselves and their family. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You are a great mommy!

Stacia said...

love your snow pictures btw... we didn't get icicles!!

and as far as this post... i know you are doing exactly what you need to do for your family dynamic to work. every family is different, somedays I wish I worked and other times I know I'm doing exactly what our family needs me to do.

Kristen said...

Dawn, as long as Allyson is growing up knowing the Lord and His Church, an God the Father, you are fine! As long as she is cared for and nurtured, you are fine! The only wrong choice would be if it were for selfish reasons and that is NOT what I see here. You are doing a great job!

It is so sad how we are all criticized no matter what choice we make. I was told one time that a Stay-At-Home-Mom was a waste of life. But that is what I have always wanted it be.

If it is right for your family, and as long as you are all seeking God, what is the problem with it?

Good for you for standing up! You are very driven. Me, I never wanted to go to college, so I didn't, ha!

Susan said...

Wow, I'm a month behind on your blog! Let's start from the beginning. Yes, Allyson looks cute regardless of how silly she's dressed. Such a cutie. I'll pray for your sister's c-section, been there done that- twice, and it's no fun. A spring baby, wonderful! Now for the working mom bit, just don't let it or anyone bother you. You are an outstanding person who refused to give up. You had a wonderful dream and thanks to your perseverance you grabbed hold of it and didn't let go. Your daughter will respect you for that. Your husband already does. You and Mike raise your child in a loving, warm, stable, safe, educated, and most importantly Christian home. The infamous addage "letting someone else raise your child" is up to individual definition. Define working? I stay at home with my children but I also work as a floral designer, decorator, and writer. Weddings, events, and the desire to be published keep me busy. Would I own my own floral shop? You bet. Would I travel to sell a book? You bet. We all have dreams, just different ways of achieveing them. You have quite a life Miss Dawn! (I miss seeing and talking to you!)